It's Peru, Baby.

We four arrived, as arranged, at 10pm last night, and magically squashed two not insubstantially sized witches in the back of the two-door with Perla and Glavis before heading off down some bumpy mud lanes to a farmhouse (closely pursued for the entire 15 minute drive by the head witch’s racously barking dog, which I took to be a familiar). It was pitch black when we were ushered into a large walled enclosure for animals (complete with chickens, ducks, pigs) and seated next to the altar. On the altar were arranged various objects; a row of upright wooden poles, Jesus on the cross, bottles containing oil and flower infusions, semi-precious gems, a Buddha, a deer horn, and the ilk. The ceremony began with much chanting and stamping of feet, and the noisy inhalation of a substance contained in seashell vessels through the noses of all four witches. A Catholic prayer was said. After this, we were each required in turn to stand in front of the altar, and drink an infusion of herbs which had been specially brewed to clear our stomachs. It was, by far, the most revolting tasting concoction I have even been required to imbibe, and after violently retching several times I was mercifully allowed to leave some in the bottom of the glass. Stomach churning, we were then required to kick and punch the air, as if assaulting the negativity with which we are plagued. Upon returning to my seat, I began to feel even more queasy. However, I found that the starry sky had assumed a most intriging aspect; I suspect the infusion was mildly narcotic. We had to wait whilst the others went through the same thing, which was intensely boring because it was so dark that we couldn’t make of much of the action. Whilst I waited I meditated on all the different Buddhas I have seen, and the temples I have visited, which was nice. The next step was a kind of exorcism by an enthusiastic male witch, who vigorously rubbed a stone all over our bodies, whilst cursing our negativity and worries, before whipping the air behind us with a switch. During this procedure, the head witch discerned various things about us; I was most surprised when she noted that Tito and I had recently had a car accident (it was very minor, and so we hadn’t told anyone about it), and that I am scared when Tito drives too fast. She also said that I sometimes wake in the night with a start, and that I need alot of sleep, both of which are true. Apparently, I am seen to have a good aura and friendly nature too. It was fascinating to hear the things she knew about us. She accurately discerned so many things that I was left in no doubt that she is psychic. The ceremony wrapped up after four, long, chilly hours with a benection for Tito and I, as the witch knew that we are currently concentrating on making our relationship stronger (hey, who isn’t?). Everyone clapped as we waved our hands in the air and danced together while being orally sprayed with a perfumed alcohol from the mouths of several witches. Charming! We got home at 2:30 in the morning. I slept like a log, but later we all had some serious diarrhoea, thanks to the tea. Whilst this all sounds quite strange, we are feeling a lot lighter in spirit today. So many people coming together with powerful positive intentions can hardly be a bad thing, can it? Personally, I think that we humans understand so little of this world that we’d better keep our minds open to the possibility that we may find truth in strange places! I am off to get my cards read as soon as possible... but I can tell you I’ll be saying a polite, but firm, NO to any offers of a brew at their place...