It's Peru, Baby.

... for absolutely nothing. I am totally baffled as to what it is that they are they for, if it is not to answer totally relevant and logical, rather politely phrased inquiries from British Nationals. OK, I know that they ARE there to rake in lots of dosh for doing virtually nothing (that goes without saying, doesn't it?). However, I have tried to contact the useless buggers for information that is only available through them (regarding the process of obtaining the randomly necessary-to-get-wed 'Certificate of No Impediment' and general visa process) time and time again. I have had to absolutely drag the information from them... in a such a painstaking way that I should be forgiven for thinking that they are actually employed to keep the crucial information secret. My email of inquiry received the most cursory reply, my calls received the snottiest of all uninformative replies, and my letter simply went unanswered. This has finally come to a bit of a head as I have just found that I will not be able to go to Lima again this weekend (a 12 hour bus trip) to pick up my 'Certificate of No Impediment' as I will be teaching on the weekend. I called the number on the receipt for the 660 soles I had parted with to them last month, but that was defunct. Another number I called reached a human being. I asked her if Tito would be able to pick up the certificate without me. She reluctantly told me that she believed that perhaps he could. "Could you confirm that?" I pleaded, "we live a long way from Lima." No, she said, she could not. Is there another number I could call? After much thought, she said that the consulate might possibly answer the phone in the afternoon, if I am lucky. IF I AM LUCKY!!!?